How to Make Mom Friends During a Pandemic
You can make mom friends during a pandemic by starting with one small conversation, then choosing virtual or outdoor contact if it feels comfortable for everyone. You don’t have to turn a first hello into a close friendship right away; a kind exchange can be enough for now.
Familiar ways to meet may not be available or may not feel comfortable. A mom-baby yoga circle, for example, may not be an option, and changes to everyday routines can make meeting other parents feel less straightforward.[1] That can be lonely, especially when you’re adjusting to a new stage of parenting or a recent move.[1]
Keep the first step simple. You might respond to a parent’s comment, say hello during an activity, or ask how their child is settling into a new routine. Let the conversation be a conversation—not a test of whether you’ll become close friends. If it feels easy to continue, you can choose another way to stay in touch; if not, you still made a small connection.
You can also choose the kind of contact that feels right to both of you. A short virtual chat may suit one person, while an outdoor hello may feel better to another. There’s no need to push past anyone’s comfort: the goal is to make room for a friendly connection, even if it starts briefly and grows slowly.
Find a virtual space that fits your life
A virtual space can help you find parents with similar interests or routines, so look for a group or meetup that feels manageable for your life. [2] You might start with a neighborhood parent group, a virtual story time, or a community for parents sharing a stage such as starting kindergarten. [1]
Browse before you commit
Treat the first visit as a chance to see whether the group feels like a good fit. Read recent posts, notice what members tend to discuss, and check whether the space centers on your neighborhood, your child’s age, or an interest you already enjoy. A local group may help you find people nearby, while an interest-based space can give you an easy topic to share.
You do not need to sign up for a recurring meetup right away. Introduce yourself with a short note, or reply to a question someone has already posted; for example, you could share a favorite rainy-day activity if another parent asks for ideas. That gives you a feel for the conversation before you decide whether to return.
Pick what fits your day
Choose a format that works with your schedule and your comfort level. If live video is hard to fit around naps or work, an online group where you can read and respond when you have time may be easier. If you prefer more structure, look for a virtual meetup with a clear topic or activity.
Think about what you are comfortable sharing, too. You can take part without posting personal details, and you can leave a space that does not feel right. The aim is to find a welcoming place you can realistically return to—not to add another obligation to your week.
Make online conversations feel more personal
A specific, friendly question can make an online chat feel more personal than a broad “How are you?” Ask about something you both know, such as, “How are you handling bedtime lately?” or “Has your toddler been into any new books?” A shared parenting experience gives the other person an easy place to begin, and you can respond to what they say rather than trying to keep the whole conversation going by yourself.
Keep your questions open and warm, not like an interview. If another parent mentions a tricky nap transition, you might say, “That sounds like a lot to juggle—what’s been helping?” If they share a small win, ask what their child enjoyed about it. You don’t have to find perfect words; showing interest in their answer is a natural way to make the exchange feel more like a conversation.
If the messages start flowing, you can suggest a short message exchange or video call, while making it easy to say no. For example: “I’ve enjoyed chatting—would you like to trade a few messages sometime this week, or have a quick video call? No pressure if now isn’t a good time.” Keep the invitation brief and let them choose what feels comfortable; a friendly chat does not create an obligation to move to another format.
Be thoughtful about what personal details you share in an online space. You can talk about everyday parenting moments without giving information that could identify your family, such as your child’s school or your home address. Share gradually, and pause if a question feels too personal; you can simply steer the conversation back to a lighter topic.
Try an outdoor meetup if it feels right
An outdoor meetup can be a low-key way to meet in person: suggest a short walk or a brief chat in an open public place, such as a park. One parent describes making awkward park encounters to connect with other moms. [3]
Before you settle on a plan, talk about what feels comfortable to each of you and check current local public-health guidance. You might say, “Would you be comfortable meeting outside for a short walk?” Then agree on a place and a simple plan, such as meeting near a park entrance and walking for a little while. If you have different comfort levels, adjust the idea together instead of assuming you both want the same thing.
Keep the plan flexible, and make it easy for either person to change it. If someone feels unwell or uneasy, reschedule without pressure; a simple message like “Let’s choose another day” is enough. You can also decide in advance that the meetup can be brief, so neither of you has to feel committed to a long outing.
For example, you could suggest meeting outside for a short walk, then check in about whether you both want to continue. If a child needs attention or the conversation pauses, you can take a moment and keep the plan relaxed. The goal is simply to make the first meeting comfortable for both of you.
Keep a promising connection going
After a conversation or meetup you enjoyed, send a brief follow-up and suggest one easy way to stay in touch. A warm note can show you’d like to talk again without asking the other mom to commit to a full friendship right away.
You might write, “It was so nice chatting with you today. Would you like to catch up again sometime?” If you talked about a particular parenting moment, mention it: “I’m still thinking about what you said about starting preschool—thanks for sharing.” Keep the message natural and short; you don’t need to find the perfect words.
Make your invitation specific enough to answer, but easy to accept or decline. For example, suggest another short chat, or ask if she’d like to check in by message next week. You could add, “No worries if this week is busy.” That gives her room to respond honestly, and it keeps the invitation friendly rather than demanding.
If she’s interested, let the friendship take shape gradually. A quick exchange here and there may be all either of you can manage when naps, work, and family routines shift. One mom may be new to parenting, while another is juggling preschool or school schedules, so you don’t need to move at exactly the same pace.
If plans fall through or replies are slow, leave the door open without chasing. You can say, “It was lovely meeting you—feel free to reach out when things settle down.” Then give the connection time; a promising start does not have to turn into a close friendship immediately.
Low-pressure ways to connect
The table shows simple ways to meet other parents and what each option offers.
Option | What it means |
|---|---|
Start a conversation | Say hello, respond to a comment, or ask about a shared parenting experience. |
Explore a virtual space | Browse a parent group or meetup and join in with a short note or reply. |
Suggest an outdoor meetup | Ask about a short walk or brief chat in an open public place, if it feels comfortable to both of you. |
Follow up | Send a brief message and suggest an easy way to stay in touch. |
What if reaching out feels awkward?
What can I say if I’m worried about sounding awkward?
Keep it simple and start with something you genuinely share. You might say, “We’re both navigating toddler naps—how has your day been going?” or “I’m glad to see another parent here; this is new for me.” You don’t need a clever line to make the moment feel friendly. [3]
Is it normal for connecting to feel unfamiliar?
Yes. If your usual routines have changed or there are fewer chances to gather, reaching out can feel less natural than it used to. You may feel a little rusty, and that does not mean you are doing anything wrong.
Try to treat the first exchange as practice, not a test of whether you’ll become close friends. A brief hello or a few messages can still be a worthwhile connection, even if it stays small.
What if the conversation feels flat?
A quiet exchange does not have to mean you made a mistake. People may be tired, distracted, or unsure what to say, so give yourself permission to let that moment pass without judging yourself.
If it doesn’t lead anywhere, try another low-pressure opportunity when one comes up. For example, you could strike up a short conversation with a different parent at a familiar activity, without expecting every chat to turn into a friendship.
How can I avoid putting pressure on myself?
Aim for one small, kind interaction rather than a perfect conversation. Ask a simple question, listen to the answer, and let the exchange end naturally if it does not flow.
You can also remind yourself that a friendly opening is enough for now. You are creating a chance to connect, not auditioning for a new best friend.
Choose one next step that feels manageable
Choose one next step that feels manageable, then give the connection room to grow. You might pick a virtual parent community to explore or send one person a short message; you do not need to do both at once.
Before you reach out, make the step small enough to fit your day. For example, decide to browse one group during a quiet moment, or send a message such as, “I’ve been hoping to meet other parents nearby—would you be open to chatting sometime?” If you feel unsure after sending it, let the other person respond in their own time rather than treating silence as a verdict on you.
If you arrange to meet in person, agree together on a plan that feels comfortable to everyone and fits current guidance. You can talk through the basics before committing, such as where to meet and whether each person is comfortable with the plan. If you cannot find an arrangement that works for everyone, it is fine to choose another way to connect.
Try to focus on making opportunities for connection, not on whether one conversation immediately becomes a close friendship. A friendly exchange may stay brief, or it may give you a reason to talk again later. Either way, choosing one low-pressure next step is enough for now.